+- JapCarForum (https://www.japcarforum.com)
+-- Forum: General Discussions (https://www.japcarforum.com/forumdisplay.php?fid=3)
+--- Forum: The JCF Lounge (https://www.japcarforum.com/forumdisplay.php?fid=17)
+--- Thread: Witchycisms, Wit & Waffle ! (/showthread.php?tid=9473)
Witchycisms, Wit & Waffle ! - purplewitch - 29-11-2019
[COLOR="DarkOrchid"]My topic for today... cats
Women like cats.. men don't understand this because cats are independent, they don't listen, they don't come in when called, they frequesntly stay out all night and when they're home they like to be left alone to sleep.. men don't understand because everything women hate about men, they love in a cat lol
How do you know if your cat has eaten a duck?
It has that 'down' in the mouth look
What do you get if you cross a cat with a gorilla?
An animal that puts you out at night
What's the difference between cats and dogs?
Dogs have owners, cats have staff
Yesterday I saw Shahz trying to chat up a cheetah. 'Hello,' I thought, 'He's trying to pull a fast one'[/COLOR]
Witchycisms, Wit & Waffle ! - is300_dino - 29-11-2019
how many toes can two cats have???
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-hampshire-16474354
Witchycisms, Wit & Waffle ! - Fozzy - 29-11-2019
Argh mutant kitty, get it away
Witchycisms, Wit & Waffle ! - purplewitch - 29-11-2019
lol.. it won't be long before they have thumbs... guard your milk folks !
Witchycisms, Wit & Waffle ! - purplewitch - 30-11-2019
[COLOR="DarkOrchid"]Dogs
A barking dog never bites .. at least not while he is barking
What's a shiatsu? .. A dog, no.. it's a zoo with no animals
I spilled spot remover on my dalmation, now he's gone
A man takes his rottweiler to the vets to see if he can cure its cross eyes. The vet picks the dog up to take a look at it's eyes and teeth and says 'I'm going to have to put him down'. The man shrieks, 'you can't, not just because he's cross eyed surely?'
'No,' says the vet, 'Because he is really really really heavy!'
I think my dog must have a particularly cold nose, when he walks into a room all the other dogs sit down!
My dog has an ingrown tail - I have to have him x-rayed to see if he's happy!
Two women sitting in a vet surgery with their dogs, one great dane and one jack russell. The jack russell's owner says she is there because her dog humps anything that moves and the great dane owner says hers is exactly the same. The jack russell owner says 'Oh, so you're here to get him neutered too?' The great dane owner replies 'No, to get his toe nails trimmed!'
What do you call a dog dressed in jeans and a sweater ?
Plain clothes police dog
What do you get if you cross a dog with a frog?
A dog that can lick you from the other side of the road
What does a dog become after six years old?
Seven years old
What happened to the dog that went to a flea circus?
He stole the show
When does a dog go Moo?
When he is learning a second language ..... lololol
Why should you watch out when it rains cats and dogs ?
Cos you might step in a poodle[/COLOR]
Witchycisms, Wit & Waffle ! - purplewitch - 01-12-2019
Don't worry about the past because it's history. Don't think about the future because it's a mystery. Live now because it's a gift, that's why they call it PRESENT
Witchycisms, Wit & Waffle ! - purplewitch - 01-12-2019
[COLOR="DarkOrchid"]Handy Cat Hint of the Day:
Do NOT set the oven alarm timer right over the cat food bowl when he is eating.... I wonder if catflaps between the kitchen ceiling and the en-suite bathroom floor could become a new en vogue fashion
[/COLOR]
Witchycisms, Wit & Waffle ! - purplewitch - 02-12-2019
You know you're blonde when you roll your sleeve up and punch yourself on the chin!... ouch
Witchycisms, Wit & Waffle ! - K20a2 - 02-12-2019
If a blond and a brunette fell off a building, which one would hit the ground first?
The brunette, the blond would have to stop and ask for directions.
Witchycisms, Wit & Waffle ! - purplewitch - 03-12-2019
At least being a girl she wouldn't be afraid to ask :p